The Paranoid Writer

When Life Gets in the Way

Guest Blog Post on James & Jax

Mmm. Brownies.

Here’s my guest post on the blog, James & Jax, including my awesome brownie recipe. Check it out:


June 20th, 2012 Posted by | brownies | no comments

Guest Blog Post on Postpartum Depression

I’m kicking off my blog tour for this week with my guest post on Life Ever Since:

Rach, who runs the blog, is giving out one free copy of Brownie Fix in ebook form.

Check it out and enjoy.


June 19th, 2012 Posted by | Blog Tour | no comments

Ten Things I Learned From My Therapist

Last month my therapist retired. I’ve been seeing her forever, and she has helped me tremendously in my own journey towards self-acceptance. Here are the top 10 things I learned from her:


1. Stinking Thinking

This is simply negative talk. Get rid of it.


2. Push Play

I usually said this when I would talk about the same things. What I didn’t realize was that the more I talked out loud about my issues, the more I was able to accept them and start moving forward.


3. Fake It Until You Make It

If you really are feeling bad about yourself, just fake feeling better about yourself. Put on make-up, dress nice, and fix your hair. Eventually you will start to believe it.


4. Do The Opposite

Without going into too much boring detail, I do the opposite of what I was taught about myself.


 5. It’s Easier To Make Yourself Miserable Than To Work At Being Happy

Yep. Being depressed and miserable was pretty much the norm, and it was hard to be happy because it was such a weird feeling. Now, I’m used to that feeling of happiness. I know it sounds nuts, but that was why I was in therapy.


6. Do Not Self-Destruct

I’m used to self-destructing because it’s familiar. Do not be scared of success.


 7. Embrace The Compliments

Learn to say thank you and accept it.


8. Zip It

Important. As someone who has an eating disorder, I constantly have to zip it when I see my daughter eating something that I think is not good for her. In that line, I learned that food is not divided into two groups: bad and good. It is just food. Eat in moderation.


9. Break The Cycle

Instead of losing my temper with my kids, I have to talk to them and listen. If I do make a mistake, admit it and apologize.


10. Demons

I cannot destroy them because they’re a part of me. I just have to declare peace with them.



There’s a lot more, but those are some of things I’ve learned in how to treat myself with kindness. I also learned about judgment, another bad habit. Break the cycle, baby.

I’m good right now and at peace, except when PMS roars its ugly head. I still get judgmental and make mistakes and slip into Stinking Thinking, but now I catch myself and know what to do.

Will I need therapy again? I’m sure I will, but I’m not scared anymore, and I like myself. That is huge progress.

June 16th, 2012 Posted by | Therapy | no comments

My Favorite Writing Tool


I’ve been getting ready for my July blog tour and answering interview questions and writing blog posts.

One of the interviewers asked me to name my favorite writing tool. Well, that tool’s name is Kirby.

No, Kirby is not my computer but my dog, a not so small dog that sits in my lap in the morning and stares out the window and occasionally starts growling when he sees a dog outside.

When I’m writing my posts, he sits in my lap, and when I’m editing Raven’s Return, he sits in my lap.

He’s like my conscious that tells me to write. Of course, when he’s in my lap, I don’t want to get up because I’ll disturb him. I guess he makes me sit still at the computer.

Kirby is a rescue dog, and I thought he was going to be a little Shih Tzu, you know the kind you can carry around in a sling bag. After all, he was emaciated the day my family got him. My vet nursed him back to health from parvo, the killing disease for puppies.

He survived, and he kept growing and growing. In fact, I had to cut up, via Flashdance, the shirts I bought him because he was growing out of them.

The end result is a 19 pound Shih Tzu, a big Alpha dog.

So . . . my best writing tool is not a what but a who.  It’s my not so little Kirby, and I’m lucky to have him.



June 9th, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized, Writing Tools | no comments