The Paranoid Writer

When Life Gets in the Way

Mean Girls

Mean Girl

I recently attended a lecture on “Mean Girls” at my daughter’s elementary school. My main concern was to understand the difference between teasing and just plain bullying.

I don’t think I could handle girls today if I was my daughter’s age. They are mean, but I learned that what my daughter is experiencing and what she does in return is teasing because there is not an intent to hurt.

My daughter and her friends do tease each other, and I certainly couldn’t handle it, but they do. They let it go and are friends again, literally within seconds. How is that possible? I don’t have an answer.

My job is to make sure that my daughter is not hurting others and is not being hurt, physically or mentally.

I learned that Mean Girls use words that hurt. To diffuse the situation, you have to think fast and either use humor or another tactic. The bottom line is to remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible and not let the other girl get power. Wow. That’s a lot to handle for an elementary school child.

Still, I worry. Girls are mean, and feelings get hurt.

The hard part about being a mom is knowing when to step in and when to leave it alone. Physical and mental abuse . . . step in and get help. Teasing? I have to step out and let her handle it because I can’t fight her battles. She has to learn to fight them.

I know that I’m at the point where I can talk to my daughter and listen to her and try not to solve her problems for her. Sometimes, she just needs to vent. When things bother her, I try to direct her to her diary to write down her feelings or draw them. Where did I get these ideas? Years of therapy.

I’m trying my hardest not to project my own feelings of insecurity onto my own daughter. That wasn’t in the Mommy Info Book. I didn’t know I could project feelings. Now, I do.

It’s hard raising a girl, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s going to be a strong one when she grows up.

And yes . . . that is indeed a Weeping Angel from Dr. Who in the picture. A little humor and terribly frightening.



April 20th, 2012 Posted by | Mean Girls | no comments

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