Time: It doesn’t matter how long it takes because you just do it.

Rules: I have to have rules in my book, and the rules need to be followed to make sense. However, I can change the rules.

Control: I created the universe of Raven’s Return, and I can change it. I am not locked into the plot if it does not move me. I am not trapped.

Consequences: If I change the rules and the universe, then I must face consequences.

That’s what I’ve been doing with Raven’s Return. Consequences. I got bored, my readers got bored, and I no longer liked the book. It needed life. I changed the rules. I changed its universe. I made the good characters evil and flipped everyone upside down.

Now, I have to face the consequences, which means re-writing the book. As I always tell my students, “Reading about evil people is just a little bit more fun than reading about good people.”

I survived the editing, health issue, and career change. It’s good sometimes to be thrown off balance and switch to another road.

So Raven’s Return . . . going back to basics again with the original manuscript with some changes. Either I find a publisher or go indie. I’m tired of stalling, tired of trying to make the damn thing perfect. It just needs to breath and be what it is . . . a coming to age fantasy. My other story is knocking around in my head, and I can’t shake it. I’m going to have to place it on paper soon before it gets the best of me. Raven’s Return needs to be set free.

Career change. Yep. You can read about it at http://badmotherrunner.com/ and my Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/cardonabadmotherrunner?ref=hl

Switched from teaching to personal training. I’m still teaching, but my students are not falling asleep and turning their papers in late. My lesson plans are workout sessions, and I get to interact one on one with my clients. I love it. I can workout with them and teach them about Dante. Can’t beat it.

The health scare. Dodged a bullet. I still have to go get checked out again in February, but I know I’ll be all right.

Change is good. It keeps us going.

1. Check emails every three seconds?

2. Make brownies?

3. Go back to normal life?

4. Start on the next book?

Usually, my answer is #2 or #1 or both. Normal life? Um, no.

However, I’ve started another book. It’s not the second in my series, but it’s one of those non-fiction, self-deprecating books. It’s been real easy to write, and it’s taking up my time. That’s good. Perhaps, it’s even freed my mind.

The ironic part is that this little book will probably sell pretty fast, and my other books will still be waiting in line. In fact, I might add a little blog to go with the other book under my pen name. Hmm.

In the meantime, I have had some good responses on Raven’s Return, and I’m playing the waiting game right now. But who says I have to wait and not do anything?

Why in the word did I ever decide to flip my narrator from third person to first person? It’s because it sounds so much better now. I like this book. I really like it. Changing to first person was really the best thing I’ve done for this book, but it was tons of work. I really re-wrote the book.

If ever any writers want to flip their narrator, talk to me first. It’s a huge commitment.

I’m happy with it.

I’m glad I can start blogging again. I was just so consumed with this book that I placed any other writing on the back burning. Yes. I have another idea stirring about something completely different, but that is literally another story.

And I have the second book to write of Raven’s Return. Don’t worry. It will be in first person.

And . . . Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Here we go. Blogging again. Yep. That means Raven’s Return is almost done, and I’m gearing up into production and marketing. I had to flip the narrator to first person, and it’s making the voice modern. I love it.

The web page is on a new server and will be designed again to fit the second book. And . . . the cover is in the design mode. Thank you, Barry Guimbellot. It’s about to become real again.

To self publish or find an agent? Marketing is the key here, so that will be the major selling point in my decision. This time around, I will not ignore the red flags.

Right now, I’m having fun with my first person narrator.

Time to get busy again. It feels good.

Happy 2013!!

New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite nights. No, it’s not because I get to party and ring in the new year.

I like this night because it gives me time to review the old year, some of it good and some of it not so good. It gives me time to become reflective, which always leads me to gratitude. . . . gratitude for what I accomplished no matter how small or large, gratitude for my family, and gratitude for the person that I am becoming.

I read about a New Year’s Eve ritual that I’m going to do tonight. You write down your regrets, mistakes, and failures on little strips of paper, and then you simply throw them in the fire, and say, “Good Riddance.”

Well, I was informed that if I threw them into the fireplace in our house, I would burn the house down because apparently our fireplace is only supposed to burn the gas logs that look so pretty. Well, I guess I will just throw those strips of paper in the trash or in the shredder.

But you get it. You say goodbye to your regrets, mistakes, and failures over the year. You get it out of your system, so it does not keep clogging your mind and holding you back.

Try it and see what happens. It’s way of letting go of the baggage from 2012.

I’m looking forward to 2013. Sure, it’s not going to be perfect, but if I slow down and take time to enjoy it and learn from the good and even bad times, I think it will be a very fine year.

Happy New Year!!

Balance and Harmony

When I don’t write, I tend to wall myself in one emotional room and stay there. That’s what has been happening every since I started teaching again. I was so caught up with my work that I forgot what I was supposed to be doing . . . writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I like teaching. I don’t like grading papers or dealing with students that don’t care, but teaching is actually fun. But my passion, what I’m here to do . . . I neglected at a cost, an emotional cost.

I’ve started editing my second book again, and it feels good. It feels right. It feels like what I’m supposed to be doing, well, besides making brownies all the time.

There’s a quote that I try to follow in my life but failed miserable this semester:

“There is an Indian proverb . . . that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person” (Simple Abundance).

That’s true. I’ve been living in one room, well, maybe two rooms. It’s time to start walking into all four rooms and to find balance again. For me, finding balance is writing, and balance leads to harmony and peace.

Isn’t that what we all want eventually? Balance, harmony, and peace. The hard part is finding it and not losing it.

A couple of weeks ago, I was flabbergasted by my own parenting skills. I mean I was flabbergasted that I made some good parenting decisions. I know. Shocking.

My nine-year old daughter found out that her tumbling coach was no longer at her gym. This coach had been working with my daughter for four years on her skills. I soon realized that my daughter was going to go through the stages of grief. What did I do? I let her grieve. I let her go through denial, sadness, and anger, which she took out on me. There was even a little bargaining.

Finally, she is starting to accept the fact that her coach is not coming back. I let her grieve, and let her work out her feelings without me stepping in and tell her that it would be all right.

We usually think of grieving in terms of someone dying, but it’s not. We can grieve for many things: a life that we gave up, our old body, a friend that has moved, lost relationships, and even a tumbling coach. It’s all right, and it’s normal.

She’ll bring up her tumbling coach every other day and talk about her, and I’ll listen. I miss her, too. But the fact that I let my daughter work out her feelings and not try to put a band-aid over them is why I am flabbergasted. I made a good decision with parenting, and my daughter is adjusting. Score one for the crazy, blog writer.

Now, I’m really going to be flabbergasted when I start making healthy decisions on how to take care of myself.

Just to cut myself a break, I am being much kinder to myself, slowing down, and enjoying moments in life.

Ah, now I am flabbergasted.

http://chicklitplus.com/brownie-fix-ellen-cardona/

I’m loving this blog tour.

http://www.samanthamarch.com/