The Paranoid Writer

When Life Gets in the Way

Meditation – That Was Weird

I’ve never meditated in my life, unless you count taking a nap.

After my yoga class, there was a meditation class for 20 minutes. Someone asked me if I was going to take it. Well, I didn’t think I could sit still for 20 minutes, but I decided to go for it.

Meditation - Weird Experience

Boy, did I get spooked. I’m still spooked.

It’s really easy. I had to lie on my back on my mat and prop my feet up with a round pillow, and I had an afghan comforter under my head. Easy. The instructor turned on the sound of waves and turned off the lights.

Apparently, we were supposed to breathe with the rhythm of the waves, but the waves were so slow that I was holding my breath, and then I was anxious that the instructor would know I wasn’t doing it right. Not so good, so far.

I finally settled down and got a hold of my breath and the rhythm of the ocean, well almost in rhythm. I was really relaxed, but then these images popped in my head. One was my daughter handing me a folder, and I can feel my right hand actually moving as if to take it. Weird. I can’t even tell you what the rest of the images were. I can’t remember.

I’m not freaked out yet. What sent me over the edge was that I could have sworn that my instructor was rocking my pillow back and forth with the rhythm of the ocean. I didn’t want to open my eyes because if he was right at my feet and saw my eyes open, it would freak him out and freak me out.

Then to make matters worse, I thought he was pressing on my legs, and they were getting heavy and sinking into the round pillow under my legs. I was really freaking out now.

To top it off, I could hear his voice, and it wasn’t in front of me. I spent the rest of the time feeling myself rock back and forth to the ocean and trying to figure out who was rocking my pillow. Was it one of the other students?

Finally, it was over, and we rolled on our sides. I thought I was going to throw up. Was I sea sick?

I did ask the instructor if he was rocking my pillow back and forth. He said, “No. But cool.” And I got a  dirty look from one of the students. I guess her pillow wasn’t rocking back and forth.

I left feeling scared to death, and the front of my head hurt all that day, and I felt sick.

However, I did feel less anxious, and the next morning I had a fantastic run.

What happened? I don’t know. Am I going to do it again? I don’t know.

I think what scared me was that I was not in control of my mind. That’s scary.

The whole experience really was just plain weird.




May 1st, 2012 Posted by | Meditation | no comments

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